In order to do that, I have to start from the beginning....
First off, I'm a very private person. Incredibly private. It's not easy for me to talk about my personal life or my struggles. It's giving me anxiety just typing this, but I owe you, so I'm going to be completely honest today...
Ready? Here goes... *deep breath*
I've just been through the hardest 9 months of my entire life. Seriously...and I've been through some shit, y'all.
On December 4th, 2014, I found out I had Endometrial Cancer. It scared the socks off me, to be completely honest. I cried, called my family who were 4 hours away, and leaned heavily on them and God for comfort.
December 7th, one day after mine and my husband's 11 year anniversary, I asked for a divorce. The story is long and painful...filled with many ups and downs, but nevertheless, a massive amount of love, joy, compassion, understanding, and patience. After 11 years, I realized our journey had ended and that I could go no further. It happens...but Kenny will always have a special place in my heart, because he gave me back something that a very cruel and heartless man who came before him took away. I will always love him for that and he will always be incredibly special to me.
December 15th, I moved back to Austin, Texas to be closer to my family and to seek treatment. I found an amazing doctor here who did my surgery, a complete hysterectomy, on February 10th, and I started my road to recovery. I was very lucky that we caught the cells early enough and no further treatment was needed.
All the while, I went through this, I was dealing with losing my best friend (my husband) and trying to find my feet, because I hadn't been alone in 14 years. That was NOT easy... It still isn't, but I have some awesome friends and amazing family members who have carried me through, wiped my tears, and told me to buck up, buttercup. Sitting here, looking back, I'm damn lucky to have the people in my life that I do. Couldn't have gotten through this without them, that's for damn sure.
July 9th, our divorce was finalized. It was a bad day for me. I walked into that courthouse alone, and left a mess. I'm a stubborn chick who tries her hardest to stuff the pain she's feeling so far deep down inside herself, that even she can't see it any more. It worked for a while...until it didn't. I'm finally grieving...finally saying goodbye to someone who was my everything. We don't talk to each other anymore. I don't know if that makes it easier or harder... Either way, it's for the best. I needed a clean break, and he respected me enough to try to give me one.
So, here I am now...August 13, 2015.
I have my 6 month checkup with my doctor at the end of the month. Fingers crossed everything is okay. I'm trying to write again, as much as I can. The funny thing about having my world completely turned inside out, is that my muse went silent. I lost most of my drive to write...my passion. It's been lonely and frustrating not having access to Skye, Archer, Hagan, Trey, and Jameson on a regular basis. Skye's world really is my happy place.
As things calm down and I slowly carve out my own path as a single entity now, they'll speak to me again. I know they will. They visit in short bursts, but it isn't for long. I'm doing everything I can to coax them out more. Working out seems to help. Maybe I should try booze... I worked for Hemingway, right? Naw...carbs are more my speed. #ChubbyChicksUnite! Kidding...mostly. I'm trying to get healthy. Slow process, but I'm doing it. 50 pounds down...holla! ;)
What do I want each of you to get out of this blog update?
That I hear you...I know you are waiting for the next book and I WILL get it out to you before the year ends. Believe me...it's agony for me, too. I want each and every one of you to know that I appreciate you, adore you, and sincerely thank you for being patient with me. I need to learn how to be more open...if I had been sooner, you'd all have known what was going on. For that, I'm deeply sorry. You deserved answers and I checked out. Honestly, I was so overwhelmed. There were days I didn't think I'd survive the heartache. But, you can't keep this redhead down...
Subscribe to my newsletter and check back with my blog. I'm half way done with book 6 and as soon as I'm a bit closer to the end, I'll give everyone a release date. I don't want to pick one now only to miss it, further disappointing you. I refuse to give you crap wrapped neatly in an awesome cover (I seriously love the cover to RoS! It might be my favorite), so I'm taking it day by day. I'm a work in progress...but I AM working on it.
Thank you for your time and your ear.
I love and appreciate each of you, truly.
P.S. This is a picture taken at Orlando Indie Bookfest on August 1st, 2015. I had all my friends and Facebook admins together and it was an amazingly happy day. Jax (standing behind me) flew in from Scotland just for the weekend. She surprised us at our hotel that morning, and I cried. I've been friends with her for over 3 years and I finally got to meet her. Ashley, the gorgeous blond, helped keep the trip a secret from V and I. Best day ever... <3